I heard various men speak of recent and I was touched by the words they uttered. I thought to myself that a vast number of youths who need to hear them wouldn’t, because of various reasons, hence my writing.
A lot of youths today, particularly the females have been misled in life by their wrong perception of “being beautiful” and “being attractive”.


Beauty simply means having qualities that are pleasant to the eye. Everybody is beautiful but obviously, some people are MORE beautiful than others. perharps one could say “they have more qualities that are pleasant to the eye than some people”. Sad news is that there’s so little you can do about beauty.
Attractiveness on the other hand is not like beauty as it simply means having the power to attract. As a matter of fact, every human being needs to be attractive; whether single or taken, even in your business world. Attraction brings people to you and keeps them with you. Like I said earlier, attractiveness and beauty aren’t alike as being attractive can be developed.


1.) Never come into a relationship desperate.
Biko! this is a major law of relationship. The more desperate you are, the less the chances you attract the right people. No one ever makes a sound decision based on desperation. Ask Esau…. porridge for birth right. I’m yet to see a stupid deal like that but that is what happens when you’re desperate. you wouldn’t know what you would negotiate when you are desperate. So never come hustling as it can drive people away from you. Everyone feels somehow when you come strong at them, they wonder what you want. Guys, you know how its like stopping a lady on the way. You’re like “sister how are you??” and she’s like “yes! yes!!”. she’s afraid cuz she doesn’t know what you’re gonna say or do next…perharps a robbery. Some even start running and you’re like “I’m not an armed robber” and she’s like “before nko! if you be armed robber, you go say you be armed robber?” Lol. So you can’t come desperate. Please don’t hustle.
And ladies too, never come on too strong unto any guy. The law of attraction works in the sense that both of us must be attracted. It is never one sided. You can’t say “oh! I love him” and you keep pursuing him, you must let him decide to want you too. The way a normal relationship should build is by presenting your case and the other person says whether he/she likes what you have or not.
If you beg her to be with you today, you’ll beg her to remain with you…as anything built on begging will need to be maintained by begging.

2.) Don’t come pretending.
Many people in the bid to attract the right partners start to pretend to be something they are not. Another major law of attraction is that you must be yourself. Don’t try to speak in a way you can’t speak, don’t try to make your hair in a way it cannot be done….some have tried to perm their hair and it got burnt, even burn the drier join
Don’t put in so much effort to change who you are, DON’T! Somebody will like you the way you are. That nose you’re trying to change, maybe somebody has been looking for a girl with a big nose like your own and the day you finally removed it, the person now came and didn’t recognize you. #loser
We have not seen the best actors in Nigeria until we see men and women that are desperate to get hooked up. They wanna pretend to be something else. Once you start pretending, you will never be true to yourself, depriving yourself of the real joy of a relationship.
When someone complains about everything you do, that person can’t be your partner. He doesn’t like the way you walk, you have to Change the way you walk…..  she doesn’t like the way you laugh, you have to change it all in a bid to please. Honey, if he doesn’t like things about you, he should go look for someone else cuz you’re not the person he wants. He wants to change you completely. And how would you even let yourself to be managed? One day he’d get tired of managing you. I mean its not easy to manage,especially when there’s a better option. One day, he’s gonna see somebody who has got all that he wants in you.
In essence, don’t go where you’re tolerated but where you’re celebrated. One man’s big eye is another man’s sexy eye.

3.) Please don’t be tempted to go naked.
Oooooh! this is what is in vogue now. In the bid to attract people, girls nowadays go naked. I dunno where this craze is coming from. fashion used to be about what you’re wearing, now its about what you’re not wearing. Nowadays, it is fashionable to open your cleavage and not to a large extent, they leave nothing to the imagination. And in their mind “I’m attractive”.
You cannot attract a real man that way. it is only a dog you’d attract. and the man is talking to you and spit is coming out of his mouth. #sorry If you get a man by looking like a “hoe”, no problem ooh! but when he sees someone that opens more than you….maybe your sister, he’d go fetch. What is even more annoying is when you see girls with gigantic pot belly wearing short tank tops, looking like “winnie the pooh”. Why would you be embarrassing the nation like that na? You should be arrested by EFCC or LASTMA, for obstructing traffic. it is WRONG!
Why on earth would you chose to go virtually naked? The sad thing is that the body won’t remain that way for ever. There is no guarantee or warrantee. you may take it home sef and it might not be what it is. Guys, BEWARE!
Errrm! I wanna advice, never go into a relationship asking the girl out after the first one or two dates. You could just be friends, just knowing more about each other.In this atmosphere, people can be real. I mean, you need people to be real, to know who they really are. It is not everyone that enters your life that you should try to date or even marry. Some people are just supposed to be friends only. If you don’t spend enough time being a friend, you will not know the person that is supposed to cross the line.
You shouldn’t start a relationship and later, look for friendship in it. Start with friendship. Its not all your friends that can be your partner but amongst your friends, is one that can be your partner.Someone that will understand you…that you do not need to “pose” for…that you do not need to brag to.

to be continued…

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